And ACTION!
by Midnight-in-Russia
Summary: Just a little fic about Roy and Ed and video cameras. *Wink* RoyEd.


Pain shot through Ed's body as he shifted underneath the warm covers. He groaned, wondering why he was in so much pain. He had a pounding headache and a throbbing pain in...well, his butt. He tried to sit up, but the action proved to be too much for him, so he sunk back down into the covers, preparing to go back to sleep, until he realized that these were not his covers. This was not his bed.

Despite his body's protests, he jumped up into a sitting position and looked around. This was definitely not his and Al's hotel room. (Well, _his_ hotel room, anyway. Now that Al had restored his body, he and Winry decided to give dating a shot. Now Ed worked for Brigadier General Mustang. He had not gotten his limbs back, but it didn't matter to him. Besides, the Auto-Mail tune-ups he had to get every so often were fun. He got to see Winry, Al, and Pinako every once in a while. But back to the problem at hand.)

He looked back down at the bed and realized that he was not alone. His heartbeat sped up as he stared at the lump underneath the bed covers. With a shaky hand, he pulled back the blanket to reveal one very naked General Roy Mustang. And Ed shrieked. Roy woke up. Then _he_ screamed. Then Ed realized that he, too, was naked. They were both naked. After realizing these facts, it didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened....

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE, FULL METAL?!" Roy barked, demanding an explanation, as though their nakedness was not enough.

"YOU TELL ME, YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE!" Ed yelled back, snatching the blanket off of Mustang and hugging it to his body as he stood up. Roy blushed and grabbed a pillow, trying to cover his lower body as well.

Ed's breathing was very uneven as he surveyed the man in front of him. His head [and bottom] throbbed very painfully as he walked around the room, contemplating on what to do.

"So...what happened?" Roy asked, stupidly.

"What happened? WHAT _HAPPENED_?! YOU TOOK MY VIRGINITY, YOU OLD PERVERT! YOU RAPED ME!" Ed screamed, throwing his hands up in the air, causing the blanket to fall off of him and onto the floor. His face flushed as he scrambled to pick up the blanket and hold it around his waist. Roy decided that the sight was rather sexy. Very, _very_ sexy.

"AND WHAT THE FUCK IS _THIS_?!" Ed snatched a video camera from the stool in the middle of the room. He discovered nothing except that it had died.

"Gimme some batteries," Ed demanded. Roy rummaged around the drawer in his nightstand.

"For what? That's not even mine. I've never seen it before," the General handed him two DOUBLE A (AA) batteries.

Ed studied the camera. His thoughts weren't flowing too well, probably because of his hangover. Then it dawned on him. This was Al's camera. Had he, Ed, brought it over here? For what?

Ed replaced the batteries and walked over to the edge of the bed. He sat down on the corner of the mattress and pressed "play". Roy looked, curiously, over his shoulder.

Their jaws dropped at the display in front of them.

"Is that...." Ed trailed off, weakly.

"Us," they chorused in unison. They watched their video selves do unspeakable things.

"Er.... Does your ass hurt?" Roy asked. Ed punched him, though his heart wasn't in it - he felt like throwing up.

"Shut up. I'm gonna go," Ed stood, still holding the blanket.

"You can't go _now_!" Roy protested.

"And why not?" Ed shot back, glaring at his commanding officer.

"Because it's broad daylight. People will see you coming out of my house," Roy argued. All in all, he just wanted a reason for Ed to stay. The Full Metal Alchemist actually looked very appealing....

Ed sighed, defeated, and sat back down on the bed.

"So what do we do about - " he waved his hand "this?" The blond snuck a glance at his commanding officer.

"Well," Roy started off slowly though he had no idea what to say.

"Well?" Ed snapped, getting angrier by the second.

"How about I make some breakfast?" Roy suggested while readjusting the pillow covering his crotch.

"Breakfast? You fucking raped me, and all you can think about is _breakfast_?! Oh, that's just great. Just fucking perfect, Mustang!" Ed threw his hands up into the air, causing the blanket to pool haphazardly on his lower half. Roy bit his lip and tried not to stare at the oh-so-sexy sight before him.

"I don't know, Ed. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry, alright?" The older alchemist ran a hand through his hair and stood up, letting the pillow fall to the ground. The motion had not gone unnoticed by a certain blond alchemist sitting nearby.

"Um..." was all Ed could say as he watched the older man walk out of the room in all his naked glory.

"Shit," Ed exhaled as he looked at his mismatched feet. One flesh. One Auto-Mail. He sighed, running his flesh hand through his messily braided hair. He sat there, thinking, for a while and came to a conclusion. He would handle this like a real man would...as soon as he located his clothes.

Ten Minutes Later....

Ed walked out of the room and down the stairs. He could already smell food; he hoped Roy had cooked some for him as well despite his earlier outburst. He had a reason to be upset, didn't he? The bastard had taken his virginity for goodness' sake! Well, rape and kinky butt-sex aside, Ed was still hungry. For food. And definitely not hungry for his still-naked commanding officer. Really.

"Have a seat," Roy said without looking at the blond. Ed noted, gratefully, that Roy's lower half was hidden by the counter-island in the middle of the kitchen. Ed sat down on a stool near the counter and kept his head down, studying the countertop with all of his concentration. Then a plate of food was pushed toward him. He looked up at Mustang and nodded, pulling the plate near him.

The butterflies in his stomach were nearly too much to handle. He stared at his food, wondering how all of this had happened. _Okay_, he thought to himself, _yesterday I went out for a drink, obviously,_ he cringed at the headache pounding inside of his head,_ and..._ he trailed off, not remembering what had happened afterward.

"Eat. You'll feel better," Roy encouraged, glancing at his subordinate with a sympathetic expression on his handsome face.

"I don't think I can," Ed said, bitterly. Roy dropped his gaze and stared at the ground.

"I'm sorry," the black-haired man whispered, looking over at Edward once more.

"It's not like this is your fault, so stop apologizing," the blond grumbled, poking at his eggs with a fork.

"It may not be my fault, but I'm apologizing because it was...me. I was your first, and I can't take it back, no matter how much I want to," Roy murmured, burying his face in his ungloved hands.

"General...." Ed realized that Roy was actually in a worse position than he, himself, was at the moment. If anyone found out about this...well...there went Roy's job, right out the window.

Ed hopped off of the stool and walked around the counter-island to stand beside the other alchemist. He looked up at the still-naked man and smiled softly.

"It's okay," his voice cracked and tears welled up in his eyes, but Ed decided that it really _was_ okay. It wasn't that big of a deal, right? Losing his virginity was one thing - at least he hadn't lost it to some nameless person at a bar. Roy losing his job was another thing entirely.

"How is it okay, Edward?" Roy bit his lip, looking away as he collected his thoughts. "Even if I wasn't coherent, I was still the one who took your virginity away from you."

"...I believe that sex should be between two people who care deeply for each other. Maybe even love each other," Ed sucked in a big breath and released it slowly, his amber eyes trained on Roy's midnight-blue ones. "And I can't think of anyone I'd rather have given up my virginity to. I trust you with my life, Mustang. I'm.... I'm kinda glad it was you."

Ed reached for Roy's hand and took it in his own flesh one, stroking it gently with his thumb as he tried to read the older man's expression. It was one of bewilderment. Before he could even try to speak, Ed spoke again.

"I don't want you to lose your job over this, Roy. I won't tell _anyone_ what happened. Not even Alphonse. I promise," he kissed Roy's hand with his soft lips and let go of it, turning around to walk away.

Suddenly, he was hit - or rather tackled - from behind and his front side was pinned up against a wall. Mustang grabbed his Auto-Mail arm and spun Ed around to face him. Ed was overwhelmed by the lack of clothes and his knees buckled. Roy held him up, burying his face in the crook of the blond's neck, licking it with great fervor.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Ed used the wall for support as Roy continued to lick his neck. He felt something poking him against his inner thigh and shivered.

"Something I've wanted to do for a long time," he replied, readily. "I don't remember last night, so I'll make sure to video-tape this for future reference."

"Mhmm," Ed murmured, not really listening to the older man's explanations. The only thought that registered in his mind was: _Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit._

"So, you're not mad that I was your first?" Roy stepped back to study Ed's expression.

"No, I'm not really mad. I actually like you a lot," Ed bit his lower lip and looked up at the General through his bangs. Roy decided right then that the sight was the most alluring thing he had ever seen. "I guess I'm just mad because I can't remember it."

"Well then allow me to re-enact it for you," Roy smirked, descending his lips onto Edward's own, claiming them as his once more.

---------- The Next Day ----------

Ed woke up with a horrible pain in his butt. He figured his body had suffered a lot yesterday, what with the positions Roy and he had tried out. So now he was sitting in Roy's bed, listening to the radio and using his spare time to relax. It was Sunday, so neither of them had to go to work. Ed smiled to himself as he picked up a little bell off of the nightstand and shook it.

_Ring_. _Ring_. _Ring_.

"FUCKING HELL, ED! WHAT IS IT NOW?!" Roy stormed into the room giving off all the signs of being angry, but Ed knew better. The older man loved taking care of his subordinate (and lover), but he didn't want to seem like such a softy, so he covered it up with annoyance and anger.

"I think my pillows need some fluffing," Ed smirked as Roy's fists shook by his sides.

"Fluff them yourself," the Flame Alchemist turned around, but the back of his head was met with a flying pillow.

"But Rooooy," Ed called in a sickly-sweet voice, "my ass hurts. It's _your_ fault that I can't walk, so I'm _your _responsibility."

All Ed could hear was Roy's shaky, uneven breathing. He smiled, triumphantly, as Roy turned around and walked back over to the bed with a glare on his face. He snatched the pillow from behind Ed's head and made a show of fluffing it at every possible angle. He lifted the back of Ed's head up, rather roughly, and shoved it underneath said head.

"Good enough for you, Princess?" Roy smirked, picking lint off of his white button-down shirt.

"Nope," Ed gave a smirk of his own when Roy growled and launched himself toward the younger alchemist. The blond, however, had predicted this and rolled over the second Roy landed on him. Now he was on top. He grabbed the bell off of the nightstand and gave it a gentle shake.

"Yes, Full Metal?" Mustang gruffed, staring at the younger alchemist with an intense desire and need.

"Hold me."

Roy gladly obliged.

**(A/N: I'll gladly post the lemon that I omitted in the story if anyone wants to read it. Review, please!)**


End file.
